Safety? Really?

Another Winnieleaks useful tip: Don’t let your company supply you with fancy name badges that have a safety pin type fastening. Imagine it has fallen down to the bottom of your bag and the pin has come undone.
Of course, I am just finishing a meeting with a customer and he wants an electronic copy of the presentation and video I have just shown him, so I reach into my bag, in a hurry, to retrieve a USB stick(also at the bottom of your bag) and the pin sticks about 7mm into the tip of my finger.
It was the first time I have ever met this customer, he even made the effort to come to my hotel for the meeting, and I wanted to give a good impression. This guy wants to build eight new ships and we are in the competition to deliver millions of dollars of electrical equipment........and at the end of the meeting I have just stabbed myself. I told him that the suppressed grunt was to clear something in my throat and the that the tears in my eyes were probably a symptom of jet lag. I didn’t scream or swear........at first. I handed him the USB stick, thanked him for a very productive meeting, shook his hand and said a pleasant good bye. Once he had left the building the Tourettes just exploded out of me and my bag was subjected to severe violence. How was I to know there were children behind me? The youngest one was scared and began to cry whilst the other child was busy asking mummy what several of the words meant. I don’t think the sucking profusely of my finger or waving it about excitedly helped with the overall impression I was conveying. Several gods and their offspring were also criticized during my outburst, which did cause one old lady to cover her ears. On top of this, as I was leaving the lobby and heading for the lifts I coughed and farted loudly at the same time. It is just not my day today!
By the way, why the hell are they called “safety pins”?? Because I have a swollen red finger that thinks the word “safety” should be replaced with “Suprise”.