How to cook small potatoes?

A cure for a sluggish morning. Also, a note to myself to set my alarm clock for…….every working day!

As you can gather I forgot to set my alarm clock last night. Luckily the workmen, who are fixing up my house, arrive at seven o’clock each morning and start banging away. Hopefully, they are actually working by eight o’clock. Anyway, I woke up this morning slightly later than usual and my eyes were really heavy, but worse yet was my bad shoulder, it was aching like mad. So I sat up in bed and using my bleary eyes I located and reached for my pain relieving cream. I rubbed copious quantities of the cream on my shoulder and upper arm. Within seconds I could feel the burning heat sensation and my stiff muscles began relaxing.

I then swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up. In traditional male fashion I “adjusted” my love spuds and began sluggishly walking towards the bathroom, nature was calling…..as usual. However, the hand used to correct my morning alignment was the same hand still covered in molten lava cream.

Now here is a question for you science boffins: “Why didn’t the cream make my hand burn like my shoulder?”

That would, most certainly, have prevented the eyebrow raising, wide eyed expression from forming on my sleepy face this morning. My sloth like movements changed to “looking lively” and then into full on skipping actions as the heat set in. My boys were cooking!

I reckon, and it is no exaggeration (you all know me well enough by now that that would never happen), that from a standing start, I could have easily have beaten a catapult launched F18 fighter jet in a race over 100m. NB: As long as the jet also had to go through two doors and a right angled turn in the corridor.

Needless to say, the cats were happy as I defrosted two blocks of frozen fish this morning. As for me, after two long hours, the crying has finally stopped.