Smug shopper
For a long time I have been trying very hard to do my bit for the environment. It doesn't matter to me if you believe in Global Warming or not, I hope, at least, we can all agree on the fact that we are polluting the air we breath and the water we drink. I combine my environmental credentials with my fashion status. How do I do that? I bought a Barbour jacket many years ago and have been wearing them ever since. We all know they look good and are worn by celebrities and Royalty alike. They also last a long time if you look after them. How are they helping with the environment? That's easy, they have a very large pocket at the back for carrying rabbits or pheasants that you've just killed whilst out admiring the "environment". However, I have discovered that this large pocket is perfect for carrying the groceries that I buy. I no longer need to use plastic shopping bags!
I've been using my jacket as a shopping bag for some months now and I often get people staring as I stash my shopping inside the large pocket at the rear. They can't believe it. I on the other hand, adopt a condescending look as they fill up their Penguin killing plastic bags. I get even more stares as I walk casually past people sporting an ever-so-sexy "pa dunk-a-dunk" posterior but I don't have junk in the trunk, I have shopping! I can pull it off too because even though people stare, no one is laughing...........until the other day.
I finished stashing my shopping away in my poacher's pouch as usual but this time more people than usual were looking at me. So I gave them my smug "That's right people, I don't need plastic bags" stare. Some of them were pointing as I walked to the car, which I had never seen anyone do before but I just kept on with that same smug look. Well someone has to set an example to the younger generations and why not look fashionable doing it?
Anyway, when I reached my car and took my jacket off, I realised why more people were staring than normal. I made a mental note immediately......Remember, before stuffing shopping into your enormous penguin saving pocket, check the lid is securely tightened on the milk container.
