Waking up

I am not a morning person and often I have to wake up at stupid O’clock to catch a flight, which is difficult for me. You would think, after many years of travelling that I would be used to it…..but I’m not. So this morning I have to check out of my hotel at 05:00hrs and I was dreading it. Not only does my own alarm clock go off but the hotel also call me to check I’m up too.

Sleepily I get out of bed and all I have to do is shower and get dressed. I’ve packed my bags the night before and my clothes are already laid out waiting for me. Still tired, I turn on the shower. It is a fancy shower with coloured lights on main showerhead. The lights change colour depending on the temperature of the water pouring out. Blue is cold, green is good and red is hot, simple really. I wait for the light to change from blue to green and then I test the temperature. It’s good so I enter. As the water pours down on me I turn on the side nozzles which have a separate control and again I have to adjust the temperature so it is just right. The side nozzles are shooting water out horizontally at a decent pressure which hits me on the chest and the family jewels……it is lovely.

I’ve been in the shower no more than about four minutes, slowly waking up, when the light above me flashes red and I am scolded. I scream and jump backwards, almost slipping. At the same moment, the side nozzles spray out ice cold water…another shock, especially for my dangle berries. Just as I’m leaning forward again to adjust the side nozzle temperature the light changes to blue and I’m doused in cold water from above. My love spuds were already shrivelling  from the sideways cold water, now this extra cold water was not going to help. Again almost at the same moment the side nozzles become hot and I leap back again screaming. I don’t know if everyone in the hotel was busy flushing their toilets but for about two minutes the temperature of the water swung from steaming to ice in seconds and I could not escape it. The lights were changing so fast it resembled a disco in that small room.

On the plus side, I was now wide-awake and, even though I didn’t have any small children in the shower with me, I know Mr. Jackson would have been proud of some of my dance moves.