The Empire Strikes Back!

Being British I have always loved America and Americans. Visiting America used to be exciting but… America has changed over the decades and I’m not sure if it is all for the better. Back in the Eighties, it was at the cutting edge of technology and it led the World in customer service. The vast majority of people you met, regardless of race or creed, were exceedingly polite, generous and always willing to help. Nothing was ever too much trouble for them.

There are still some of those values left but they are certainly reduced. Recently, I had to take a shuttle bus from my hotel, just outside of New York, to Newark airport. It was a warm morning and the recent rainfall had left the air very humid. The only thing stopping me from breaking into a sweat was a light breeze.

I said good morning to the young Hispanic looking man sitting in the driver’s seat but got no response. He was totally fixated on his mobile phone. I found a seat near the door and waited. However, the bus was very warm so I got off again and stood just outside the door. At 0800 sharp, the driver started the bus and I boarded the bus again. The door closed behind me and I sat down. We set off towards the airport.

Within a minute my legs were burning and my arse was cooking. I looked under my seat and there was a large heater blasting hot air on my legs. It was easily over thirty degrees on the bus and getting warmer. We were only two passengers on the bus and we were both sweating.

“Can you turn the heating down please?” I asked the driver, which got no response.

“Excuse me, would you mind turning the heat down please” I asked again.

“Sorry, me English no good,” came the reply.

There was no way I was going to sit idly on that bus, for nearly an hour, and suffer the heat. So, I stood up and began to open all the small windows that could be opened. That got the drivers attention.

“Hey, close the windows man!” He said irritated, yet in fluent English.

I just sat down and replied, “Sorry, me English no good.”