The Communist butt plug naivity

Hate is a strong word but I hate hot climates, especially hot and humid climates. It is no wonder that most religions believe their version of Hell is a hot place. MY version of Hell is Shenzhen in China. It was hot, no, it was hotter than hot, it was bloody hot. It was humid too, very humid, which is OK if you are on holiday and wearing your bathing suit. It is not OK if you are wearing smart clothing whilst walking around a very large exhibition with twelve very large halls. Suffering the extreme heat and humidity I tried to explore as many halls as possible. On the first day alone I managed to record over twenty thousands steps on my step counting watch. At one point, when the counter went into triple digits, it was sending messages to my phone declaring it must have been stolen. So, hot and sweaty I bounced around the exhibition halls like a very wet, red faced balding pinball. These twelve glorious halls were all dedicated to the production and marketing of batteries. More batteries than you can wave a big shitty stick at. There was battery making machinery, materials for making batteries and butt plugs. I don’t think so many butt plugs have ever been gathered in one place and not small ones either. There were millions of them. Almost every stand had a wide display containing numerous glass butt plugs.  Inside these glass butt plugs were the various chemicals used in the making of batteries. There were graphite butt plugs, cobalt butt plugs, silicon butt plugs and many more chemicals that I cannot spell…….butt plugs. Perhaps it is the tightly controlled censorship of the Communist state that keeps their people from the thriving sex toy industry of the capitalist butt plug loving West. However, like all things on the internet it cannot be kept a secret for long and one day the wider Chinese public will be exposed to the joys of Western sex toys. When that day comes there will be a lot of embarrassed red faces as the Chinese battery industry realizes all its exhibition stands are full of glass butt plugs. To be honest, it might go unnoticed in Shenzhen because everyone there already has a red sweaty face.

Glass butt plug…..the Chinese way.