Making an impression.

We’ve all done it at some point but why is walking into a glass door or window is so embarrassing and yet so funny for those watching?

I was leaving one of those glitzy hotels in Dubai, which had two sets of automatic glass doors, an inner set and outer set. The outer set was shaded green and easy to see when they slid apart. However, the inner set was crystal clear and, because it is a luxury hotel, they were very very very very clean. As I approached the doors on my way out of the hotel the sunglasses, which were perched upon the top of my head, fell forward to rest on my nose and cover my eyes. Even so, I clearly saw the outer green doors open.

You guessed it though, I was completely oblivious to the inner doors. I had quite wrongly assumed that since the outer doors were opening that the nearer inside doors were opening too. So on I steamed, like a chubby Titanic,……….first came the “THWACK” sound, actually it was more like a thunder clap as the big heavy doors shook violently, followed by the scuttling noise of my sunglasses skittering across the shiny polished floor. As my head reeled back I wasn’t hurt at all but my first thought, very naively, was if anyone had noticed. That hope was dashed immediately as staff in the lobby came running at me from about seven different directions. One is on the radio screaming, as if I had just been shot, for an ambulance and another is about to light flares and throw them on the ground around me. Just in case I still wasn’t aware of what had happened, a hotel porter was pointing to my smeared face imprint on the otherwise pristine glass, complete with a clear triangular sideways nose, on the glass. I think he was trying to be kind and helpful at the time but it didn’t sound like it when he said, “Wow, I thought your belly was going to hit the door first”.

I didn’t even try to rescue my dignity, which was still smeared on the door. Instead, I just put my sunglasses back together and asked if there was any risk that the security camera footage would be uploaded to YouTube.

Upon returning to the hotel later that day I’d forgotten all about it but, luckily for me, the Lobby Staff hadn’t. There was finger pointing, giggling and a suggestion I try the revolving door instead.

Should it happen to me again, I am going to scream like a four year old girl who has just dropped her ice cream, then roll around the floor like an Italian footballer and wait for a lawyer to give me first aid. THEN WE’LL SEE WHO POINTS FINGERS AND GIGGLES!!!